Getting Through Painful Memories Writing Your Life Story

Our memories are woven deeply within us. They have helped define who we are today. We all have experienced anger, sadness, shame, grief, guilt, and fear. Sometimes we just want to move on and get past it. In writing your testimony or memoir revisiting old emotions and writing about former crisis situations is possibly one of the most challenging yet therapeutic things we can do. I've learned that writing is another form of therapy. Although it may be difficult, you can write yourself out of the stuck place.

I'm presently working on my memoir. For years, I felt compelled to write my story, but because some parts of my past were very traumatic, the thought of reliving those times was so difficult to face. I'd start and get to a point and get so stuck. What I didn't know until I started talking with a Christian therapist was that I hadn't processed these events. Talking about the events with others, especially my therapist, and writing it all down helped me process the memories and gradually move through the anger, sadness, and fear to acceptance. Realizing that God was continually working out all that trauma for my good and wanted to use my story to help someone else overcome encouraged me to move forward.
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If you are considering writing your life story, but the thought of revisiting or revealing some of the things that have occurred or you've done in your life troubles you in I want to encourage you by sharing some tips on how to move past bad memories and write yourself forward.

Pray and Meditate on the Word of God. Meditating on the word of God will help you get past difficult memories. Through the Word, the Holy Spirit will open your eyes to see goodness rather than pain, restoration rather than hardship, and the abundance of God and your growth past it all. This is what God wants for you to see and share with your readers. Expect the writing to be emotional. Pray each time before you start writing. Step away, pray, and listen to the Holy Spirit as needed. Determine not to stay away too long. Get back to writing, despite whatever difficulty arises.

Start Small. Write in small steps. You have a choice of what to include in your book. There is no need to write everything about every incident, every regret, or painful memory. As you pray and write the Holy Spirit will help, you will gain clarity on what's important to your story and what you can let go of.
 
Write Your Truth. It can be scary to show the real you. Some people feel they need to present themselves, their family, and friends in the best light, so they hide behind a wall of pretense. And some feel ashamed of what happened, so they avoid what happened altogether, all the while the call to write still lingers. Both of these mindsets I believe keep us bound up and missing out on the joys of life that God has bestowed on them. Most of us have a strong negative inner voice fighting our creative voice, blocking your full expression. If you find yourself here, write out your fears in a separate document or journal. Talk to God about it, meditate on scriptures on fear, and then face the fear head-on.

Then go back to your writing and write your truth and you will experience another level of healing. If you continue to struggle consider talking with a counselor or a trusted friend.
Be Serious, Be Persistent. If you are serious about writing and publishing your book. Create space for writing in your life, a time and a place where you can nurture this spark into a roaring blaze. Focus, listen, and hear the stories that whisper to you. Our God is creative. You are created in His image. Feed the natural creative spark in you. Try to write at least a few days a week, an hour or so a day. Remember your story is your healing as well as someone else's. So, give God permission to heal you and give yourself permission to be honest and tell those stories in order to heal.

Share Your Growth. Reflect on how you have grown through it. You have evolved and learned from your mistakes. Share what you've learned. Share what worked, and why you did certain things. Be honest about your frailties and ignorance and frailty. Talk about forgiveness of yourself and others. You're not excusing the behavior, but you should now be able to see it from a different, more compassionate perspective.

Celebrate when you write something hard. Treat yourself to a massage, a manicure, a nice dinner, a new outfit, or whatever you like. Put some praise and worship music on and praise God for what you have come through. Be nice to yourself - it's important.
 
Get Up and Move. Whenever things get to be too much, get up and move. Regular exercise can be a wonderful way to separate from the writing. Get out and have some fun. Do things that have nothing to do with writing.
 
In closing, think about the elements of a good movie or book. There are six basic emotions that are found in all good writing: anger, love, sorrow, joy, fear, and surprise. If you can share what you’ve been through and include these emotions, you may just have a bestseller when you are done.
 
Well, that’s all I have for now. I hope this article encourages you to keep going on the exciting journey of writing your life story. If you need help and want to take advantage of my writing assistance feel free to reach out to me. If you have some other tips, share them in the comments section below.
 

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